Translation: Chapters 25-27
Chapter 25: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
“Hey, hey, this act of yours—pretending to be a gentle big sister—is seriously giving me goosebumps. Can you go back to that cold, icy demeanor from before?”
The disheveled Gu Qing took the water Ji Yueling handed him and sipped it, while the tavern staff had already come to clean up the mess on the floor. After he said this, Ji Yueling’s eyes instantly turned cold again, and she said flatly, “Ungrateful wretch.”
“That’s more like it.” Seeing her expression, Gu Qing immediately felt relieved. In an instant, he leaned closer to her again. “How about another kiss?”
Ji Yueling pressed her index finger against his forehead and pushed his face far away, not bothering to hide the disgust and disdain in her eyes.
Gu Qing just laughed heartily, then held up his finger toward Uncle Qin, looking smug. “Another Negroni with extra bitters!”
“Li Si just told me you’ve got points now, so don’t put it on his tab anymore.” Uncle Qin just smiled helplessly. Gu Qing immediately pointed at Ji Yueling’s face and said shamelessly, “Then put this drink on her tab.”
………………………………
“Walk with me for a bit.”
Not far below the bar was the riverside. The breeze was just right. Ji Yueling took off her hair net, her silky black hair cascading down her back, dancing gently in the breeze. Gu Qing stood beside her, and the next moment he said, “Afraid I’ll throw up in your car?”
“Good that you know.” Ji Yueling replied flatly.
Gu Qing didn’t argue back this time, walking with her along the riverside path. The roadside was planted with many sycamore trees, all withered and yellow now. Spring had just arrived, and everything was still waiting to come back to life.
“Do you act this way with Lu Qianqian too?” she suddenly asked.
Of course she remembered that the girl living with Gu Qing was named Lu Qianqian. She had seen her file too—a poor little girl with a tragic fate.
“Huh?” Gu Qing was confused.
“Like suddenly wanting to kiss her cheek or take advantage of her.” Ji Yueling made no effort to hide the disdain in her voice.
“No.” Gu Qing answered quite frankly. “Qianqian isn’t constantly cold and arrogant like you are. I kiss you just to see if this arrogant woman will get all flustered and angry.”
“How boring of you.”
“Is it?” Gu Qing replied casually. Both of them looked toward the river almost simultaneously. After a moment of silence, Ji Yueling spoke softly, “What would it take for you to give me Old Tao’s whereabouts?”
“Give them to you so you can go die?” Gu Qing asked back.
Ji Yueling was stunned, and after a moment realized she couldn’t argue with that.
Old Tao was S-rank, she was A-rank. If it were a pure one-on-one fight, she would indeed be no different from committing suicide. Of course, her identity wasn’t ordinary—she was the daughter of Old Ji, the current power holder of the A City Alliance, and her grandfather was an SS-rank transcendent.
But clearly Old Tao wasn’t currently in Qiming City, and Qiming City’s reach could hardly extend very far, especially to places like the Wasteland or K City.
“If we played Russian roulette again, with only one bullet loaded, which shot would you choose?” Gu Qing suddenly asked her.
This question seemed unrelated to their previous conversation. After thinking briefly, Ji Yueling answered, “The first shot, of course.”
Because the first shot had only a one-in-six chance of being the bullet, much lower than any subsequent shot.
“Then I’ll count you as willing to gamble at sixteen percent odds for something that would put your life in danger. So following your logic, when you have an eighty-four percent chance of killing Old Tao by yourself one day, I promise you—no matter where he is then, I can take you to find him and give you an absolutely fair duel. How about that?”
Ji Yueling looked at his profile in confusion, but Gu Qing’s tone was so certain. He always gave her that feeling—sometimes his words were completely unreliable, but sometimes that certainty in his voice always gave her an inexplicable intuition… as if whatever he said would definitely come true.
Ji Yueling didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she suddenly smiled coldly, the curve of her lips making no effort to hide their contempt, her voice full of indifference. “You care about me? Can’t bear to let me die?”
“Not entirely. It’s just that if I gave you the information and let you go die for nothing, when Old Ji investigates and finds out I was the one who gave you the information, he won’t let me off easily either. It would cause me a lot of trouble.”
“But I feel like there are other reasons too.”
Women always seemed to have such keen intuition.
“The more beautiful a woman is, the more she likes to flatter herself. That saying is absolutely right.”
“So you’re admitting I’m beautiful?”
“I’ve been calling you ‘beautiful sister’ since we first met. I’ve never denied it.”
“You’re like one of those smooth operators who compliments everyone they meet to get closer to them. It sounds no different from empty flattery.”
“That’s not true.” Gu Qing shook his head. “If it weren’t for your beauty and your charity to me that day, I wouldn’t have gone to that Green Scythe Demon to persuade her to leave. I’ve never been someone who likes to meddle in other people’s business.”
“Those legs were amazing—so white and tender, long and straight.” Gu Qing added.
Ji Yueling suddenly froze, only now remembering that on the day she first met Gu Qing, because she didn’t want to be bothered by him, or perhaps simply because his eyes looked so pitiful then, she had casually given him some charity. So that was the real reason Gu Qing had appeared there that day and saved her life from the Green Scythe Demon.
He had simply used his actions to repay the compassion she had suddenly felt that day.
She suddenly understood what Uncle Qin had said in the bar, and her gaze toward Gu Qing became increasingly complex. After several seconds, she couldn’t help but ask, “Are you really nineteen?”
“Yeah, nineteen.” Gu Qing nodded. “What about you?”
“I’m twenty-one.” Ji Yueling answered softly.
Everyone’s life was an absurd movie. She had thought her life would proceed step by step like an ordinary person’s, and because of her birth and status, she could enjoy privileges and resources that most people could never touch. At her current age, she should be in university, freely spending her youth, laughing and arguing with her peers. But four years ago, she became a member of the Alliance, severing all ties with her past self.
“You could live quite comfortably relying on the people at this fight club, couldn’t you? Why do you insist on wandering outside?” Ji Yueling changed the subject.
“Our relationship hasn’t reached the point where we can chat about personal matters like this, has it?”
“Is this very personal?” Ji Yueling was confused. A gust of wind blew, rippling the lake surface.
“I guess it’s not really that personal.” Gu Qing thought for a moment, then said slowly, “I grew up with my aunt, and I have an older sister. When I was fifteen, I had a fight with my family and ran away from home. I wasn’t mentally well then—I was always manic—so I started wandering. On the road, I met many people who were even more miserable than me, and somehow that mania would get better. Plus, if I settled down somewhere, I might accidentally hurt the people around me.”
“But your mania got better later, right? I remember you saying so.”
“Sort of.” Gu Qing thought about it. “But wandering isn’t really that bad. I don’t sleep under bridges all the time—most of the time I sleep in internet cafes, and when I have money I stay in small hotels. I can do whatever I want, just without a fixed place to live. Over the years I’ve come to understand one thing: the fewer intimate relationships a person has, the fewer worries they’ll have.”
“No wonder you find me annoying.” Ji Yueling suddenly understood what Gu Qing had meant before.
The gaze of others would inevitably change one’s world.
“Plus I still have some pathological obsessive-compulsive disorder that hasn’t been completely cured.”
“Hmm?”
“When I feel like I’ve developed some kind of intimate relationship with someone and can’t resist wanting to get closer to them, I develop an extremely powerful urge to kill that person, just like a person’s instinctual sexual desire.”
Ji Yueling didn’t express concern or sympathy at Gu Qing’s sudden revelation. After hesitating for a moment, she suddenly laughed coldly.
“Then it’s good that you don’t seem very interested in me. Should I thank you?”
“Hahaha.” Gu Qing seemed very happy with her response. He moved slightly closer to Ji Yueling and said, “I’m a bit cold. Can I borrow your jacket?”
Ji Yueling took off the denim jacket she was wearing, and Gu Qing naturally put it on. The jacket still seemed to have her body warmth and a faint fragrance. He couldn’t help but sigh, “Why do women’s clothes always smell so nice?”
“Body wash? Or perfume.” Ji Yueling answered softly. After a moment, she instinctively asked, “Have you considered seeing a psychologist for your condition?”
“I stayed at Qiming Mental Hospital for a month or two before, but it didn’t help.” Gu Qing shook his head.
“You stayed there?” Ji Yueling was suddenly somewhat surprised.
“Yeah, why?”
Ji Yueling looked toward the distant lake, her eyelashes slightly lowered. After several seconds, she suddenly asked him, “Will you come with me to Qiming Mental Hospital tomorrow?”
“For what?”
“To visit a friend of mine.”
“So you actually have friends?”
Gu Qing’s joke was ill-timed, because Ji Yueling was looking down at this moment, guilt and self-blame quietly appearing in her eyes. She answered softly, “She’s… the only friend from high school who’s still alive.”
Gu Qing thought for a moment, then patted her shoulder. “Tomorrow’s not too cold—wear shorts!”
Ji Yueling looked up at him, confused.
A moment later she suddenly understood. Gu Qing probably meant: your legs look great, and if you’re willing to let me see them, I’ll go with you. She gave a very light “oh,” the guilt stirred up in her heart diverted somewhat, turning into disdain for him.
……………………………………
The next day, early morning.
“Going out again…” Lu Qianqian was carefully shaving Gu Qing’s beard with a razor, her voice gentle and timidly soft.
“Yeah, going with Ji Yueling to the mental hospital to see a friend of hers. But on the way back, I’ll bring her to treat the scars on your legs.” Gu Qing winked at her.
“She’s been asking you out a lot lately…”
“Because I still have value to her.”
“Didn’t you say before… to be careful… about being used up by her?” Lu Qianqian carefully wiped the foam from his face with a wet tissue. Gu Qing looked at her slightly guilty eyes and suddenly smiled.
“Don’t worry. I’m always the one who devours others. No one who could take advantage of me has been born yet.”